Tad Abbey - Mornings on the Corner

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Tad was born in an Albanian convent to Rafael, a shepherd, and Cyzyca, a nun, who upon discovery of her pregnancy was summarily dismissed from the abbey.  Taking on the word as a surname, the disgraced family boarded a ship bound for the United States, but the boat was tragically blown off course and landed in central Ukraine.  Mrs. Abbey found work on the assembly line at a Man-kini factory, while Mr. Abbey attempted to support the family working as a chef at an Elk steakhouse, before gaining substantial fame by winning the 1982 World Lumberjack Games competition.

That triumph allowed the Abbey family to finally re-locate to the United States, and having heard that New York was a beacon of freedom, democracy, and wealth, the family decided on that as a destination.  Unfortunately, they were not aware of the difference between New York CITY and New York STATE, and in early 1985, Rafael, Cyzyca, and 7-year-old Tad settled in to their first real house, and began their American dream, in a town called Utica.

Tad was always precocious; at eight, he became the youngest in his city to learn to read, and at 10, he was elected mayor of Utica.  Raised on the klezmer music of Albania, Tad became fascinated by the sounds of the mid-1980’s, and realizing his good fortune in being raised in American music’s golden age, Tad began a deep obsession with the complete Toni Basil catalog.  Soon he was decked out in legwarmers and spandex tights flash dancing his way on to the stage.  Tad tried out for the touring musical Flashdance, but was denied the part of Alex to a stronger female actress.

Once the film Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo showcased the need for break dancing, Tad honed his craft.  He proclaimed to his father, “I just want to dance.”  Unfortunately he had little to no rhythm.  His father then gave him a fisher price microphone and young Tad began to mimic the DJ’s he heard on the radio.  Day and night he would work on counting the hits along with Casey Kasem. 

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